The trust test

When it comes to our relationships with other women, trust is essential. It's important to instill this tenet early in girlhood to break the "the enemy is us" cycle that keeps women from achieving goals of liberation.

While at my therapist's office, I found a copy of American Girl magazine.

The magazine is published by the company that makes the popular American Girl dolls and is aimed at girls ages eight and up.

Inside I found an article that applies to girls and women alike because we all need to be vigilant about our relationships. It's a quiz entitled, "Can Your Friends Trust You?" by Dr. Lynda Madison , a Nebraska psychologist and author.

We all could benefit from taking this quiz. I've altered the format slightly for the blog:

"1. Your friend asks your honest opinion about a shirt that you think looks awful on her. You say, "I don't think it's your best color. But I love how blue looks on you.

A. Sounds like you
B. Nope, not you

"2. Your best friend tells you she's moving out of town and asks you to keep it a secret. You tell another friend but make her promise not to tell anyone else.

A. Sounds like you
B. Nope, not you

"3. Your friend tells you she likes a boy. She doesn't say it's a secret, but you ask her permission anyway before you tell anyone else.

A. Sounds like you
B. Nope, not you

"4. A girl at your lunch table says something untrue about your friend, who isn't there to defend herself. You take a deep breath and say, "Actually, I know her, and she's not like that at all."

A. Sounds like you
B. Nope, not you

"5. You tell your friend you will go with her to a sleepover this weekend because she doesn't want to go alone. But, on Friday, you say, "I don't really want to go. Maybe you can find someone else."

A. Sounds like you
B. Nope, not you

"Answers:

"Mostly A's: Your Trust Tally is high. your friends can count on you to respect their feelings and their secrets. When you're honest and follow through on promises, you set the stage for a long-lasting friendship.

"Mostly B's: You might need to put yourself in your friends shoes. How sould you want a friend to act in each of these situations? To boost your Trust Tally, treat others the way you'd like to be treated."

These situations could easily be adapted to adult life because the same situations repeat themselves long after we've stopped playing with dolls: Tactfully giving honest opinions, keeping secrets and promises, and refusing to perpetuate negative talk.

Use these simple reminders to keep relationships strong.